Where are the new inventions?

As I sit here on a gloomy Saturday morning, I’m ready to add more products to our inventory list. I patiently and meticulously scan page after page of new products excited to add the latest adult toy to our site. Nothing on page one, more nothing that I would like to see added from page two, again nothing from page three. Page four must have something new to add, right? No, not a thing.

I continue to search through the categories list and become a little more disappointed with each click of my mouse. I see stuff that I’ve already approved to be added to our inventory. Then, I see more, and more and, oh wait I completely recognize a ton of items that we have had in inventory for years! I silently mouth to myself, “what in the world is going on”? Why are products that we have carried for over 10 years (remember, I had a business prior to this one and carried over all inventory to my new, but old, business) being considered new again?

Where had all the new inventors with new inventions gone? The adult toy market is reminding me, in a melancholy way, of the old plane yard out west. Of course there is a huge difference between the two; vibrators and strokers don’t get put on an “out of service” shelf in a graveyard full of other vibrators and strokers. These toys simple out of production until such time that they either a, become the “new, hot item” again or b, need to be recycled back into the market due to lack of new, exciting inventions.

In a struggling, global economy it has become more apparent that inventors (such as the woman who invented the Vortex) just don’t have the monetary ability to get their new, exciting ideas out there into the consumer world. To invent, patent, manufacture a single item is quite expensive. If a person is one of the lucky ones to actually make it through the process to where he/she can proceed full steam with line manufacturing, then that person will most likely outsource to China (hey, they make product cheaply) but now that person is left with the import/export process, finding who the cheapest container service is and, finding a company who will actually pick up the item for distribution. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to get a product out for market testing. The adult toy industry doesn’t have a “Billy Mays” or “As seen on TV” to push the product to consumers. There is so much more involved with this process that consumers are unaware of.

I hope that once the economy turns around, and yes I, like many, hope and pray daily, we will see more of these inventors come out of the wood work (or a silicone dipping). The industry needs new and exciting products to fire off to our customers. I’m not saying make something that attached to your vacuum; we have already been confused by that item (albeit original). With all the wireless items out there, I, personally, would like to see something that is hands-free. If someone can invent a car that can virtually park itself, is it so far-fetched to come up with a toy that does all the work for us?

Relationship Rut

We’ve all been there. You know, that trance like movement through this thing we call life. We wake up, prep ourselves for the day ahead, drone through work, come home, ask our partner how his/her day went while mindlessly answering with ‘uh huh’s and hmmm’s', ready ourselves for bed, rinse and repeat. One day that imaginary light bulb above your head goes on and you realize that you’re in a rut. You can’t remember the last time you and your partner had a fun time together.

In a life filled with responsibilities, i.e., children to attend to, work to balance, bills to pay, we often forget to include our relationship in the equation. Most often we think our relationship will just run itself (autopilot). Guess what? Our relationship needs to be tended to as well. Our relationship needs to be a well oiled machine in order to work properly just like the rest of the pieces of our life. Fore go working on your relationship and you most likely succumb to the “relationship rut” or worse.

There’s no doubt that it’s tough to take time out in an age where stress is at an all time high but, for the sake of your intimate future you have to get to work! Complied below are some suggestions in order to get your relationship out of its rut and back on the right track.

1. Work together on home projects
Women put down your Diva attitude and men stop beating on your chest with your “Do it All” handyman book. Working together on a home project such as getting that room painted can turn into an afternoon of fun especially now that warmer weather is on the way. Just imagine the windows open, music is on, you’re not bundled up in a parka on top of your ski suit. You’re getting the idea now aren’t you?

2. Cook dinner and let it get messy
Nothing says YUM like making dinner together and letting the cook(s) take it a bit further. Dinner should take on a mind of its own as the two of you nudge against each other, helping each other whip up a dinner like no other. Don’t you dare worry about the mess on the floor and/or counter. There are things called Windex and paper towels. The mess may, or may not, be there when you’re done having “dinner” but clean up can surely be a cinch.

3. Take a drive
Remember when you first met and you would go on a random drive, music blaring, destination unknown? Of course, it was easier back then but your life isn’t so overbooked that you can’t do it again. Get in that car, truck, suv, and do it again! Driving together with the windows down, your favorite songs playing and taking in the fresh air and scenery could be just what you need to de-stress.

4. Go for a scenic walk
It’s a sunny, brilliant afternoon so get off your couch, get out of the house and take a walk in the park. You can even bring your child(ren) for this activity since the key here is to hold hands while taking that walk. Walk slow, talk to each other and soak in all that you take for granted. If your out with your child(ren), sit on a bench together and bask in the pure pleasure of watching him/her sleep, play, etc…. If you don’t have a child(ren), then take your pet(s) with you. The main objective is just “being” together.

5. Have a movie night
It’s 8 o’clock on a Wednesday and you’re bored. Break out the popcorn and watch an old movie together while snuggled on the couch. Don’t fret, Bloomberg news will be there to watch in the morning. Your mind and body needs the break from everyday life. You need to slow it down a bit if even for just the two hours that the movie is playing.

There are so many ways to break out of a relationship rut. You just need to want to break out and be free. A relationship is no different then your vehicle. You being your vehicle in for its scheduled maintenance correct? Good! Bring your relationship in for a tune up before it craps out on you and is un-fixable.

What do these words mean?

We have received emails over a period of time asking what certain words/abbreviations mean when reading product descriptions. Granted, the definition of these can be found easily online however, to save you some time looking them up we have complied a list of the most asked meanings.

PU Cote: a Velvet to the touch type coating that is usually found on hard plastic items as it adhears well to the surface.

Phthalate free: The lack of phtalic acid used (a substance added to plastic products) in order to make products, such as sex toys, more flexiable, durable. The use of phtalate’s have been found in a wide rande of products from medical supplies to liquid soap and more. Due to health concers, the US has removed the use of phtalic acid from most products.

ABS: ABS is an acronym for Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene, a copolymer thermoplastic manufactured from the polymerization of Styrene and Acrylonitrile in the presence of Polybutadiene. It is made by polymerizing styrene and acrylonitrile in the presence of polybutadiene–15 to 35% acrylonitrile, 5 to 30% butadiene and 40 to 60% styrene. It can be recycled. Acrylonitrile is a synthetic monomer produced from propylene (from petroleum, natural gas or coal) and ammonia. Butadiene is a petroleum hydrocarbon obtained from butane gas. Styrene is commercially obtained from benzene and ethylene from coal. There are very high standards set for the use of ABS in adult toys.

TPR: Thermoplastic Rubber; Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE), sometimes referred to as thermoplastic rubbers (TPR), are a class of copolymers or a physical mix of polymers (usually a plastic and a rubber) which consist of materials with both thermoplastic and elastomeric properties.

GMP: Good manufacturing practice (GMP) is part of a quality system covering the manufacture and testing of pharmaceutical dosage forms or drugs and active pharmaceutical ingredients, diagnostics, foods, pharmaceutical products, and medical devices. GMPs are guidelines that outline the aspects of production and testing that can impact the quality of a product.

PVC: Polyvinyl chloride, (IUPAC Poly(chloroethanediyl)) commonly abbreviated PVC, is a thermoplastic polymer. It is a vinyl polymer constructed of repeating vinyl groups (ethenyls) having one of their hydrogens replaced with a chloride group. Polyvinyl chloride is the third most widely produced plastic, after polyethylene and polypropylene.

RoHS: The UK Enforcement Authority of the restriction of the use of Hazardous Substances. Since most of the world has to abide by US laws and rules for importing, we have to abide by those laws/rules of other countries in which we export to.

Hopefully this list will give you better insight into what you’re reading when purchasing an adult toy.

Common mistakes men make when first dating.

We are all guilty of tying to be a bit more than what we are when we first start dating. I have heard stories of women who refuse to “go” to the bathroom in their boyfriend’s place. One woman I knew told me it took her a year to actually feel comfortable using the bathroom her boyfriend’s apartment. Talk about being backed up! Another woman NEVER washed her makeup off before bed as she did want her boyfriend to see what she “looked” like in the morning. Hello attack of the killer clown! To make it fair, I’ve heard some outrageous stories from men as well from pretending to be a cardio doctor (he was actually a plumber) to pretending the house he was sitting (it was a very, VERY nice place in a VERY upscale area) was his and he was looking to purchase a seat on the stock exchange. It turns out the guy was a second year teacher. Since the last article focused on the women, this one is focusing on the men and some of the mistakes they make when dating.

1. Trying too hard: Most of us have seen “Night At The Roxbury” and although a funny movie, the scene where Doug Butabi is outside of the flower shop yelling at Emily Sanderson about how successful he and his brother will be and how she will never be good enough is a good example of TRYING TOO HARD! Don’t attempt to impress us with what you DON’T and try impressing us with what you DO have. Humor, intelligent conversation or a simple honest smile works! The 1980′s pick up lines don’t.

2. Coming on too strong: We’re human, not a wall of bricks and we do not like your wrecking ball way! If we don’t speak to you or make eye contact for a good 30 seconds then we’re just not that interested. Don’t keep trying to push your way in because we are going to continually close the door. If you are going to make your presence known, do it in a rational way and either we will accept or we won’t. Trying to run us over with your overbearing personality will surely cause you to be the butt of our jokes with our girlfriends later.

3. Too laid back: You are not Jeff Spicoli! Good lord if we wanted someone who seemed like they were in a coma, we’d visit a hospital. Being calm and relaxed on a date is AWESOME! The conversation flows, you get into that groove of comfort and all ends well. Being too relaxed and calm to the point of paint drying will just make us think that either you are not interested or you took too big of a grav hit! Come back to life a bit and talk about your pet (or something like that).

4. There’s frugal and then there’s just cheap: I’m a fan of going half on a first date however, I would like to see that the guy who asked ME out feels the same way or more. Letting the woman pay for the entire date is just plain wrong! We want you to know that we will pick up the check every once in a while; ONCE IN A WHILE. By the way, wake up women and stop complaining how tight wad your date continues to be. Who’s the bigger idiot, the one you’re complaining about not paying or you?

5. Flatter just enough: There’s flattery and then there’s just going overboard. Compliment the shoes. We love that! If the conversation is going well, stop in the middle, politely excuse yourself for the intrusion and, tell us that you enjoy the conversation. If you like the hair, outfit, color of our polish, say it. Just don’t continue to compliment every five minutes cause then our guard will go up.

Dating is tough as we all know and women, more often than not, give off mixed signals (hint, hint women just be yourself). When you feel that your date has become a job then you know the person isn’t the right one for you (at least not intimately). The weeding out process can be a pain in the ass however, you will know in your heart of hearts when you meet THAT ONE. When that happens, all the mistakes listed in this article won’t apply to you as you will have no reason to make them. Unless, of course, you were born with that gorilla, juice head defect.

Female Erogenous Zones

Women are a bit more complex when it comes to sex than men. We like a little foreplay, teasing, mind-play before we get down to the nitty-gritty. That’s not to say that we don’t like getting right to the point at times but, sex to the point more times than not makes us very dull in bed – so much so that we would rather watch commercials then have sex.

If you feel as if your sex life is as dull as a bar of soap, here’s a little info on how to get HER in the mood.

1. Play with the breasts but don’t try to tune in Tokyo! We know you like them, like to look at them, kiss them, touch them but when you grab them like a cantaloupe we aren’t too thrilled. Rather then trying to throw a fast ball, take your time and kiss underneath the breast, lightly suck on the nipple, or take a single finger (such as your index finger) and lightly rub the nipple. Unless your woman is into something like nipple clamp action, taking the nipple and squeezing it between your fingers isn’t pleasant. Less is more in this case to keep her coming back for more.

2. Neck, neck, ear. At the beginning of the relationship, I’m sure you were all about being subtle and romantic. You would lightly kiss the nape of her neck and then work your way up to her ear and gently kiss or suck on her earlobe. What happened? We loved when you did it then and are missing that you’re not doing it now! Get back to basics and make us giggle again (getting us worked up in the process). By the way, you can multi-task by kissing the neck and caressing the breasts; you don’t need a degree in physics to perform these actions.

3. Baby’s got back! I hear often about butt play but not in the manner one would think. Listen up guys a woman may deem that area an exit only area however, we do have more going on down there then you care to think. The crease where the butt cheeks meets the legs is one of the most erogenous areas on a woman. Take your lips and kiss ass but lightly in this area while your hands run up and down her back. If you’re feeling ambitious, kiss either up her back and then down to her butt or down her legs and then back to her butt. This, I know, will drive her insane.

4. The pelvic area isn’t just for smushing. The top of the pelvic area (where the pelvic bone begins on either side) is also a very erotic area to kiss. Brush your lips ever so slightly over this area while working your way down to that golden ticket area without getting lost. Just the mere idea of what you may do is enough to drive her into a mental frenzy.

These are some basic actions to get your sex on! Take the time to please your woman for she will definitely have no problem pleasing you after she sees you taking time to stimulate her. As a reward, I’m willing to bet that her gift of fellatio to you or the exploration of a new position will be that much better!

Modern Day Sexual Strength

I’m a child who grew up as a teenager in the age of decadence and wouldn’t change it for the world. Looking back, I thought being a teenage girl blossoming into a young adult was tough and then I see modern-day television, videos and listen to modern-day music and think to myself how I’m grateful that I’m not a teen or young adult in this day and age.

My parents were taught by my grandparents to wait until marriage to have sex; never to overtly display sexual strength and then the Age of Aquarius hit and Vietnam took over. Needless to say, my grandparents suggestions were replaced with tie-dye, Jim Morrison, Disco and a sexual freedom never before seen. My parents tried to teach me the same – wait, don’t give in, save yourself while watching movies like Lipstick, watching what was considered a naughty potato chip commercial and sneaking to catch a glimpse at what a Playboy was all about. After all, internet porn wasn’t a blip on the radar. Fast forward through the ’90′s and you see provocative commercials, Sex In The City, the change in movie ratings and more free porn then a magazine could ever produce in a year!

In today’s society, sex is literally everywhere from commercials, to talk shows, movies, music. You can’t get away from a scantily clad woman or a guy without his shirt off to save your life and these people are role models for teens and young adult. Certain reality shows are telling our youth that it’s fine to be easy, have sex often, and the more you show the more you may get paid for it! I’m as guilty as the next person for watching and listening to this stuff and I’m all for a person being sexual strong but, when do we draw the line from what is acceptable to what is just down right wrong? I don’t find it appealing when a woman can openly say that she has had sex with over 100 men (99 of them on a television show). I do believe that a woman should be strong enough with herself to have sex with who she chooses to however, let’s be serious here after the 10th guy (just throwing round numbers out there) does that woman really think sex is going to be different? Hello, filling a void much?

Men are no exception here especially in the day and age of female domination. Do I like seeing the guy who is in shape with his shirt off? Absolutely as I can appreciate the work put into a body like that. However, I don’t find it attractive to see it plastered all over my television screen nor do I like hearing about how that guy got off in the bathroom with five girls in my music. I don’t need to hear, have the news report about, read about a guy’s sexual activity on a daily basis. I’m married to a man and I am all too aware of what men (and women) do behind closed doors (or maybe not behind anymore….).

Where are the role models today that project it’s fine to be sexy and attractive but, it’s better to not put your hoo hoo on a plate for everyone to taste test? What happened to the time where you made someone you were into wait a bit in order to see what the motives involved were? Who’s teaching today’s youth that it’s NOT fine, or acceptable, to be 16 and pregnant? With a world of information at our fingertips (much more than the Encyclopedia Britannica and Dewey Decimal System I had available), literally at our fingertips, why is the younger generation going balls to the wall and having sex with everyone and every thing available at anytime?

We may not necessarily like the 40-year-old virgin but, do we really like the idea that our partner has had sex with 150 people by the time he/she is 25 years old? I’m all for having sex, I’m all for enjoying sex, with one person at one time in one relationship that lasts more than six months (not six hours). We have all lost our way with teaching and listening. In a country that is so inhibited we sure have a way of being the most promiscuous! Guys and girls it’s just fine to wait a bit before plunging into Pandora’s Box. We all want that little bit of chocolate; having too much at one time will come back to bite you in the end. With the range of diseases out there and unwanted pregnancies, you would think that sex would have more of a meaning these days for a variety of reasons. If you need to get off, you were given hands, and TOYS (sexual aids to some); use them and give your body a much-needed hiatus! Let’s show the younger generation that sexual strength comes from both what is taught and from within otherwise the age of decadence and disco will be foreshadowed by the age of kids raising kids and how to have sex with 200 people by the time you’re 30. We can all have sex without love (and most of us have) but, having sex while being in love in a relationship is just the cherry on top.

Kegel Excercises For Men

I see articles online and advertisements on television all the time about “supplements” that supposedly make a man bigger and last longer in the private region. Let’s be honest men, if such a miracle pill really existed then don’t you think the FDA would have approved it already? Think about, medical companies and the government alike would love nothing more than to capitalize on a “Make your penis bigger and your erection last longer” pill.

The research is out there and it always comes back to achieving your goal naturally. Kegel exercises won’t make you into the next John Holmes but, you will obtain longer, harder erections and ejaculations. So, I will break this down for you in simple terms what Kegel exercises can do for men.

What is a PC muscle and where do I find it?
Most often what a man thinks is his puboccocceygeus muscle (PC muscle for short) is very often not. To find your pc muscle is very simple – when urinating stop the urine flow midway through (we do not suggest doing this more than once just so that you can identify the muscle). That muscle you feel squeezing when you stop your urine flow is your pc muscle (known as the anterior pc muscle) . It’s easily described as a figure eight from your pelvic to your anus and back. If you have ever tried to stop that gaseous leak during, say, a date then you have squeezed the posterior part of your pc muscle.

What is the benefit to Kegel Exercises?
Well I dare say first and foremost is ejaculation control! I hear often from men asking how they can last longer during sex and a well-trained pc muscle does just that. The next benefit is stronger sensations in your penis that both you and your partner will feel. By the sheer strength of your pc muscle you can bring a woman to orgasm fairly quickly.

Where and how can I do Kegel Exercises?
Just as a woman, you can do these exercises anywhere since the exercise is quite discrete. We would suggest you start off with 10 strengthening reps and then relax for 10 seconds. You can try that three times in a row, three times a day. From that point, try to increase your reps in increments of 10 and increase the times of day from three, to five and then 10. Your ultimate goal is to be able to hold your pc muscle tight for about two minutes, five times a day. This exercise is so simple it seems complex!

As with most exercises, your goal is to increase your strength while increasing your health. There’s no magic pill to make you harder, stronger, better. Only you can ultimately control your sexual, and physical, well-being. That’s not to say we all haven’t tried, at one time or another, to find that supplement that will make everything better. However, we all know that the only way to achieve what we want is with hard work, dedication and going about it the way nature intended.

Here’s to a better sex life! Now get to kegel-ing!

The Importance of Kegel Exercises (for women)

I was channel surfing last night, before my husband’s game came on, and I landed on that 16 and Pregnant show. Before I continue, let me say that being pregnant at that age is NOT glamorous and anyone for anyone that age who watches the show, you most likely won’t be picked for the show. Stay a kid and enjoy your life for as long as you can because once you start understanding “real” adult responsibility, having a child is a decision you should weigh out carefully.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled show! I was watching a girl in labor and she was having such a hard time – I think she had been pushing for approximately 20 hours. From what my mother told me, she was in labor 24 hours with me and had been pushing on and off for 19 of those hours. SHEESH! But, this got me thinking; kegal exercises help tighten up the pelvic walls and aid in so many ways – giving birth is one of those ways.

I’m going to explain what kegel exercises are (in simple terms) and the benefits they present (again in simple terms).

What is a kegel exercise?
The exercise was named after Dr. Arnold Kegel and it’s the contracting and releasing of the pelvic muscles. Imagine squeezing a squeeze ball in your hand and releasing it several times. Each time you squeeze, you try to hold the squeeze just a few seconds longer. The concept is no different with the vaginal. Most of us have squeezed in the pelvic area more times then we can count. Simply stated, put your finger in the vagina and around the vaginal area and squeeze. You will feel your vagina tighten and the pevic floor tilt forward slightly. Tada! You have performed a kegel exercise.

Where can kegel exercises be performed?
Being that this exercise is discreet, it can be performed anywhere at anytime. I’ve done these at my desk during work, at home while reading a book, while driving (although I suggest if you’re not great at multi-tasking then stick to an area where you can concentrate better).

What is the kegel exercise regime?
Start with contracting the muscle for five seconds, five times in a row, with five second breaks in between. Then work your way up to five seconds, 10 times in a row, again with five second breaks in between. Do these in increments according to your comfort level. Before you know it, you will be able to do 20 kegel movements at 10 seconds in no time (rinse and repeat three to four times a day). The results will be noticeable within six to 12 weeks. Keep in mind as with any exercise, the muscle needs time to strengthen.

What are the benefits to doing kegel exercises?
Often due to age, being over-weight, being pregnant and giving childbirth the pelvic organs descend into the vaginal area and cause the area to bulge. This condition is known as the pelvic organ prolapse. The benefits to doing kegel exercises are:
1. Stronger and more frequent orgasms
2. Better bladder control
3. Aids in the pushing ability when giving birth
4. Reduction of pain in the vaginal walls during menstruation
5. The reduction, or lack of, pelvic organ prolapse

I have read that a person who can stop bladder flow mid flow has the concept of the kegel exercise. I wouldn’t suggest it as doing this may cause a UTI (urinary track infection) to rear itself.

There are aids in helping with kegel exercises. Dr. Laura Berman has a product line with items dedicated to kegel exercises; you will also find aids by Sinclair Institute. Whether you decide to use aids or perform the exercise naturally, I feel that kegel exercises should be as important you as a cardio workout.

The next article to follow will be Kegel exercises for men.

New and improved ideas about love

I was reading an article on Oprah.com a while ago about how our ideas about finding love and maintaining love needs to be reevaluated and reinvented.

Those of us who are in our late 30’s, early 40’s were mostly told, when we were younger, not to be too picky when trying to find a life long mate. WRONG! If there is one thing I have learned, and the article has confirmed, is to definitely be picky. You could eventually be with this person for the rest of your life. Now, this is not to say that you should be so picky as to make sure every weekend you sit at home but if you have certain criteria that need to be met, then stick to what you believe will make you happy.

On example of being picky is to make sure not to venture out on TOO many dates. In a study of speed daters, conducted by Paul W. Eastwick and Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., of Northwestern University, they found that those who chose a larger number of “candidates” for follow up dates were definitely less likely to be picked by those “candidates” for a future date. Those who were selective in who they wanted a follow up date with were more successful in receiving the attention and response they were looking for. Bottom line, the more people you show interest in the more desperate you come across as being. Be selective and chances are, you will find the right one for you in the long run and for the long term.

When we look for a marriage partner all too often we get caught up in the good sex, the fact that we love each other, being friends, and so on – and that is great. Yet, there is one key component that we often miss and that is – do we sync up? Living together or marriage can be a logistical nightmare at times and since being in a relationship means that we are partners. Add children to that mix and most time organization flies out the window faster then a piece of lint. Finkel suggested, during her investigation, that couples should “throw a challenge” into their relationship and see if that challenge develops a problem. If a problem occurs, the couple needed to find out a system for resolving the problem. For example, rather then doing something comfortable together the couple should try taking a challenging road trip. As we all know, road trips can be stressful so a couple should attempt to divvy up responsibilities to see how well the responsibilities were handled both on an individual basis and as a collaborative couple.

One of the things I have noticed that I am guilty of is giving support to the person I am with when times are tough. Although, I have worked on that and have been giving support when my partner receives a promotion or a raise or does something great, I, like most of us, commiserate rather then celebrate. Therefore, the next time your partner (or even friend) has some exciting news that has happened to them, celebrate it like it was your own news. Get excited with each other’s happy events and by the same token, support that person when times are tough. Don’t be overly passive and don’t be overly aggressive but take the person who is giving you the news and work with how they are responding to it.

Relationships take work and with that work sometimes comes vulnerability. There is nothing wrong with being needy. As a matter of fact, your partner needs you to need him or her and it takes a very strong person to admit that they are in need of the other person. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed from both working and house responsibilities don’t escalate it into a blame match such as “you never take out the trash or clean up”. Simply say, “I could really use your help in taking out the trash and do you mind helping me out with the dishes”. Make it a partner situation rather then an individual situation.

If you feel that your partner needs to change a few things that may irk you, then help your partner make those changes. In helping that person, rather then telling that person they better change this or that, you are giving your partner added confidence which will help advance your relationship. Don’t expect or demand change to occur overnight because you will be sorely disappointed. By gradually nudging your partner to change, you will develop more patience which will help assist you, and your partner, with future situations.

All relationships consist of a team and that team works towards one goal – to win. With today’s divorce rate being unfathomably high, there is no reason a couple should not want to work on their relationship and be one of the winning statistics.

10 Obsure marriage laws (although there are really only nine listed…..doh)

I saw this information approximately last week after New York became the last state to approve “No fault” divorce. After reading some of these laws, I had to ask myself what in the world were the people in a position of making, and approving, these laws thinking? It simply amazes me how much useless brain power is out there; more so, how people elect these dopes into office! Read on…..

Montana:
Marriage by proxy, which means someone stands in for a bride/groom who can’t be present at his/her wedding, is limited to members of the U.S. Armed Forces. But of the four states that allow the practice — California, Colorado, Texas and Montana — Montana is the only one that allows double-proxy weddings. Essentially, neither the bride nor groom has to show up. Call us old-fashioned, but it doesn’t seem like the ideal start to the biggest commitment of one’s life.
Can people just conference call their ceremony?

Arkansas:
For a few months between 2007 and 2008, anyone under 18 could get married in Arkansas with parental consent. (Yes, even babies — as their parents agreed!) The original law was meant to allow pregnant teenagers to get married if their parents approved, but lawmakers forgot to put in an age minimum. The law was corrected in April 2008, making the minimum age 17 for boys and 16 for girls.
I remember reading about this and wondering what would happen if one of these law makers were President and hit the red button as opposed to the blue button. Oops!

Delaware:
Ever been dared to get married … as a prank? Neither have we. But apparently this happens often enough in Delaware that it’s actually an option when couples file for an annulment. Along with the basic reasons such as marrying “without the capacity to consent” or “under duress,” couples can now check “because of a jest or dare” when applying to dissolve their nuptials.
“We’re going to…..Delaware”. Oh Wayne and Garth!

Kentucky:
In Kentucky, it’s illegal to remarry the same man four times. Honestly, good for Kentucky: If you’ve already divorced him three times, someone should step in. Of course, as long as it’s different men, you can get married and divorced as many times as you like.
As if the first three times didn’t remind you why you divorced in the first place. The fourth time you should just be committed and tied to a padded chair, in a padded room with “The Way We Were” playing continuously.

Massachusetts:
The infamous witch trials are long over, but religious conservatism is still alive in Salem. Apparently, married couples are not allowed to sleep in the nude in a rented room. In Truro, MA a groom-to-be must “prove himself manly” by hunting and killing either six blackbirds or three crows.
Where’s PETA when you really need them? Oh, they’re still too fascinated with Pam Anderson and her inflatable boobs!

South Carolina:
In South Carolina it’s illegal for a man over 16 years old to propose marriage and not mean it. Doing so means he’s committing a misdemeanor under the Offenses Against Morality and Decency Act. Not sure if that means he will be forced to marry the woman in question, or if he can’t ask for a woman’s hand as a way to seduce her. We hope it’s the latter.
This is just another fancy phrase for the Patriot Act, right?

Kansas:
Many husbands would probably say their mother-in-law isn’t their favorite person in the world. But for those who really, really dislike their wife’s mother, moving to Wichita, KS, might be a good option. In this city, a man’s mistreatment of his mother-in-law may not be used as grounds for divorce.
The wicked witch of the east just upgraded to a Titanium broom so all you “Toto’s” better watch your asses now!

Connecticut:
Imagine it: You get a babysitter so you and your hubby can go out for a romantic dinner. Afterward you take a stroll around town. Caught in the moment, you lean in for a passionate kiss. Busted! The police can cuff you and throw you in jail — that is, if you live in Hartford, Connecticut … and it’s Sunday. Well, maybe not these days, but technically, it’s still illegal in this city for a man to kiss his wife on the Lord’s Day.
I wonder what Mary would have to say about that? Um, hello, Jesus!

Louisiana:
It’s most likely that your wedding was officiated by a religious figure or judge. Or, if you’re a bit more eccentric than some, you had a friend become ordained so he or she could marry you. New Orleans has made it illegal for palm readers, fortune tellers, mystics and the like to officiate a wedding. Guess they don’t want you peeking at your future — you’ll just have to go into it with blind faith like everyone else!
This state had it right until this new law. Imagine just how much the divorce rate would have declined IF people knew ahead of time what a stupid move they were making!

People remember, this is YOUR tax dollars hard at work!